Balance and Fairness of this Girl-Boy (Woman-Man) Thing

This is my analysis (I can't help it, analyzing things is what I do) on this whole dating and relationship stuff.

It seems the balance of relationship is always not on the side of the person who feels more (more often than not, it's the women). At first, it had been whirling in my mind for a while that the man always seems to have the upper hand. Then, when I looked around, I do have man-friends who are as equally as powerless in this thing we called 'relationship'. So, I guess in my previous relationships, I had been the one who had more vested (atleast emotionally) in the whole thing. But I believe in the beginning, it had been more on the side of the guys since they had to do the chasing, ehm, the courting, or whatever ppl wants to label it, and what a chase it was. So much energy and time and resources were invested by the guys to convince the gals that this is what they wanted. It was fun, I'm assuming on both parties had fun, else it wouldn't have ran its course to a full bloom relationship.

Then, came the 'talk'. It could be difficult or as easy as, 'I'm feeling really good about this, are you ok with me?'. Haha! Ofcourse, the easiness or difficulty of it all was all in my mind, since, I'm the one who put the label. It's only difficult if I had to be the one to bring the topic up.

As the relationship progressed, somehow the balance of power changed sides. Sigh!

That's my two-cents for now.

A downer

After really good days, it's about time, the cycle is back to a downer day. The day started out fine and well. Everything was smooth and good. Then, someone said something. At that time, since I was preoccupied with something else I didn't feel anything. But as the day progressed to the end, when I had time at hand, it came back to me and I felt angry and sad.

Angry that people have stereotypes and perceptions and misconceptions. And that they voiced them out loud with probably not an evil intention, just insensitivity. Which myself, have been guilty of time and time again. Sad, that I still let these things affect me.

'She has time because she's not married!'. That's a totally unfair and unfounded statement ever. Unmarried people have things to do. As a matter of fact, we might have more stuff to do. 'Aren't you lonely staying alone?'. Why state the obvious? And I have to answer in a way that doesn't make the asker feel bad.

I know she didn't mean to be hurtful but that doesn't mean that it doesn't.

Another good day...

What would I call a good day, hmmm.... Not necessary a free day. As a matter of fact, today was one of the busiest day for me at work. Not necessary a day filled with life changing conclusions. As a matter of fact, I didn't manage to finish any reports, oh, except for one early in the morning from results I received late yesterday. But somehow, the hours the just past so quickly. I did get a lot of things done but just not all to its completion yet. For that I need more time. But for today, I felt I have used up my time well. To cap off the day, a great dinner at a lovely Italian restaurant with good friends. More like a treat for my birthday yesterday.

What more could a gal ask for?

Birthday Day...

I have been quite irregular with the blogging lately. Life sometimes has a way of just flow by itself and sweeping me along. There's been work and scrabbling and family and friends, all taking up time. It had been fun and tiring and exciting in the same time.

Everything it seems culminated to today. I had expected another normal workday, just busier than normal with new stuff I've taken up. But I had dressed accordingly in my new favorite orange top and my new pair of dark jeans. My new pair of casual adidas completed my attire for the day. All, just a personal feel-good thingy. I'm at the stage where I think I could afford to indulge myself.

I was greeted with a chorus of wishes when I walked into my cubicle. My cube-mates had without fail made the day special for me. Although I have a lot going on today, they had made me remember that this is a special day. We had lunch at SunShine and then the meeting I was supposed to have after lunch got kinda shuffled a bit and foiled the surprise that they had wanted to arrange. I went back to the cube unexpectedly and saw my cake, gift and card! They proceeded to gather a few of our closer friends and we had our impromptu bday celebration. Songs, candle and all.

And I absolutely love the apron that I got! I had told them that I was looking for an apron that I won't mind wearing. And they got me exactly what I wanted!! What bulls-eyes! Amazing!